Dear Jana,
My wife and I were having a few drinks the other night and the conversation turned to the weirdest things people are into.
I jokingly brought up some over-the-top kinks, expecting her to roll her eyes. But instead, she went quiet and said, 'Well, I've actually kind of wanted to try pegging.'
Then, seeing the look on my face, she laughed it off and changed the subject. The problem is, now I can't stop thinking about it.
Was that a test to see how I'd react? Is this something she wants to try? And more importantly, am I supposed to just pretend this never happened, or bring it up again?
It's not something I've ever been keen to try. I'm a straight man and have no burning desire to be f***ed.
Honestly, it's kind of made me look at her differently.
Anonymous.
Each week, Mail+ columnist Jana Hocking answers readers' questions about their love lives
Dear Anonymous,
Can I just tell you, over the last six to 12 months, I have heard so many stories about pegging from my followers. In the name of 'research' I decided to see what it looks like. It wasn't exactly my idea of sexy, but it was indeed fascinating.
One thing I took away from this 'research' was that in every video the man looked like he was having a jolly good time, and the woman, while not receiving much in terms of stimulation, did appear to enjoy being in charge. Quite the gender reversal, if you will.
But for the record, just because you let your wife peg you, certainly doesn't mean you aren't straight. I mean, it's your wife doing it to you, so you're having a very 'straight' time, just in a, er, slightly different way.
If you're quietly judging her a little for her kink - or just a little curiosity - then let me
reassure you I've heard of many upstanding individuals who enjoy being pegged (including royalty!) so it's actually not that outside the box.
Here's the thing about fantasies: just because she shared it with you doesn't mean you have to do it. However, I also wouldn't recommend burying your head in the sand and pretending she didn't say anything either.
This might sound a little bonkers, but why don't you suggest watching a porno involving pegging? Choose the video wisely, mind. Go for a hot couple who look like they're having a fun, and avoid anything weird where the bloke is oinking like a pig.
As you watch, ask you wife why it turns her on. Rather than judging her, get curious instead. What she has to say may surprise you. You certainly don't have to say yes but perhaps you could find a compromise - like letting her take the lead once in a while?
A man tells Jana he's put off by his wife's sudden interest in pegging - but could they find a compromise? (Stock image posed by models)
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How married women REALLY feel about their single friends... and the remark that keeps me up at night
Dear Jana,
A few months ago, my wife's porn habit was bothering me to the point I asked her to stop watching it.
She was getting really secretive about it and it was impacting our sex life (she wanted to do things I wasn't comfortable with, like choking, and was taking ages to climax). I figured we could both do with a detox, and she agreed.
As a compromise, she suggested reading erotic books. I thought that was fine - I mean, how smutty can they be? Certainly not worse than you'd find on Pornhub.
Well, I was wrong. Every night before bed she's reading this stuff. I flicked through one lying on her bedside table to see what all the hype was about, and they are pure filth. Group sex, cheating, men with gigantic you-know-whats. And the worst part is, she reads these books religiously and barely initiates sex with me anymore.
When I brought it up, she rolled her eyes and said, 'It's just fiction, not even porn.' But it is turning her on, just not with me.
I'm tempted to ban the books,
Xnxx but after my porn ban I worry she'll just think I'm jealous and controlling.
Anonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
Excuse me.
link anal
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